Mindsight by Chris Curran

Author:Chris Curran
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780008132729
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2015-01-09T13:09:32.770000+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Emily insisted on cooking me a big breakfast next morning. We ate with hardly a word, and when I said I’d be fine getting a taxi to the station, she sighed. ‘I am a bit tired … if you don’t mind.’

I reached out across the table and touched her hand. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.’

‘It’s all right.’ She looked at me. ‘You will come again when the baby’s born, won’t you? See Mum and Dad as well.’

‘If you still want me to.’

‘Of course we do. Dad always blamed your father for what happened to you anyway.’

‘I was the one driving.’

‘He meant earlier, when you went off the rails. Adopting a child is a serious business and turning up with you the way Uncle Robert apparently did, as if you were a pet or something, Dad said he guessed it wouldn’t turn out well, even at the time.’

‘I can see that – poor Mum.’

‘And, according to Dad, she’d already had one or two breakdowns.’

‘But I thought it was post-natal depression.’

‘From odd things Dad said I think it was a longer term and more serious condition and it just got worse after Alice was born.’

It made sense: Mum’s attitude to me, mostly cold, but with occasional furious tirades, and even more occasional bursts of affection. Her feelings for Alice were too intense as well. I remembered her crying for a whole weekend once when Alice went to stay with a friend. And then there were the periods in the private hospital, often preceded by days in bed with the curtains closed and silence throughout the house.

There was a hoot from outside: my taxi.

At the door I put down my bag and kissed Emily. ‘I can’t give this up however much I would like to. I need to help Tom to understand, but I’m so sorry if it brings back bad memories.’

‘I know,’ she said, with her old sweet smile, her hand rubbing her bump. ‘I’ve been thinking about it overnight and you can’t refuse him that. I’ll try to think of anything that might help.’

‘And what about Matt? Could you ask him to tell me all he can remember about the scandal? He must have known Dr Penrose, and Lorna says Dad used to talk to him too.’

‘Of course I will. If it’s so important to you.’

When I turned to say goodbye. Emily clutched me to her for long seconds, and it was clear, from her quivers, that she was fighting the tears. There was a pain in my throat too.

I’d made sure I had plenty of time to spare before my train, and asked the taxi driver to head for Bramstone and stop just short of it. Then I got out and crossed the road to look back at the crash site.

Like many accident black spots, this was a winding country road surrounded by trees and fields. The first time I recalled coming here was when the police tried to get me to admit I’d caused the accident deliberately.

The woman detective was soft-voiced.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.